OPINION: Venric Mark’s Injury Could Derail Northwestern’s Dream Season. These are some of the most popular fantasy football punishments for the poor saps who finish last in their league, but once upon a time a man made the news for his WILD punishment. EVANSTON — Northwestern University administration announced today that construction on some long-awaited expensive building of questionable utility is to finally start next month. January 27, 2015 Jordan Villanueva Leave a comment. Northwestern University students came together in mourning the end of those crazy, drunken. Northwestern’s Fappa Fappa Fappa chapter added a Dillo-themed banner to the ranks of anti-rape slogans hung on fraternity houses around campus. 153. However, weeks in the red zone have called for a new method with more accuracy. Justice Stevens attended Northwestern Law School before making it all the way to the Supreme Court. Angry AO3 Fanfiction About OC “Fuke Ligora” Describes Campus Shockingly Similar to Northwestern. In case you missed any of The Flipside’s Winter Olympics coverage, the links below will make sure you get the scoop on what really went down in Sochi this year. January 22, 2016 John Klafta Leave a. He gets girls like none other and rages harder than anyone. Reporting Intern Chicago Sun-Times Dec 2022 - Mar 2023 4 months. February 13, 2014 Flippy Leave a. January 27, 2015 Jordan Villanueva Leave a comment. “I plan on. Tag Archives: northwestern Bribery, Groveling, and 3 Other Ways to Get Off the Waitlist for That Class You Need to Graduate. DINOSAUR GO! One must question the system I expect we shall soon find ourselves operating beneath — a system in which the oligarchs of society control the upper echelon outside of the laws binding those beneath them. No. Northwestern University Football Team Loses Game November 24, 2013 Alex N. Northwestern to Expand Saturday Class Offerings Next Year. These critters can be seen on a nightly basis wandering around the streets of. We at Flipside felt our readers deserved at least a taste of what might have been had administrators watched past “The One the Morning After. After a series of complicated negotiations that incidentally involves a Flipside negotiator losing his innocence to U. Dr. ” The satirical publication churns out articles and. S. The Flipside Nominates the 2013 Homecoming Court October 4, 2013 Caroline Picard Leave a comment As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community. Read more Local, No. “It just wasn’t worth it anymore,” said former Happiness Club president Ben Ulman. “I mean, I guess I understand how farming might be important in light of the food crisis in, like, Africa and whatever,” Weinberg senior Jonah Goldblum told Flipside, “but. As the football season draws, or crawls, to a close, The Flipside would like to take a moment to reflect on. During the off-season, he has turned to emotional tactics to try and get the Northwestern football team out of their slump. When asked if they believed the chapters would find this. March 4, 2022. Read more No. EVANSTON—Enraged and confused, Ernie Dinkelberg, 38, told Flipside reporters on Monday that he is still frantically searching for an application to Hogwarts. Northwestern Remains a Need-Blind School EVANSTON—This Sunday, allegedly blind Weinberg freshman Dave White was found to be faking his condition. EXPOSÉ: Xanthe Brown, Despot and False President. Events Management Chair Neil Cordoba foreshadowed some of the future happenings: “We could not help noticing the repeated success of the. On January 6th, he had a chance to show off his gaming skills as he speedran right through the Capitol gates and clutched the 1v1 against the Capitol police. EVANSTON—The Northwestern Associated Student Government and Student Groups Committee gave the widely unknown Northwestern Flipside a whopping $100 to assist in the printing of its satirical publication. Collier, known for his intricate harmonic arrangements and the ability to bore nearly anyone’s date, will be traveling all the way from the color printer in Norris to Welsh-Ryan Arena to perform at Blowout this year. 130, Opinion. Who went and made you god-king? Fuck that. October 16, 2014 Caroline Picard Leave a comment. EVANSTON – On April 22, members of Northwestern’s Happiness Club dissolved their organization due to the 34 degree weather. The DHS Flipside. Northwestern and the Chicago Cubs Announce Plans to go on Biggest Loser Boy Scouts to Begrudgingly Allow Gays, But Blacks Are. After a series of complicated negotiations that incidentally involves a Flipside negotiator losing his innocence to U. Northwestern Residential Services acknowledged to. According to an email sent by President Morton Schapiro, the Northwestern Administration is bringing Six Flags to. Guaranteed to induce chuckles, guffaws, and wry smiles, this product will provide minutes of entertainment every day! Developed by a team of seventy-three scientists and doctors, The Flipside will begin releasing its daily 2013-2014 content. This announcement comes in response to years of student petitions for the university to offer a full major in studying Internet memes – which, for those uninitiated in Internet culture, is defined. By Capt. The Northwestern Flipside Class of 2017 Excited to “Hang Out at the Lakefill and Eat Frontera” BY ERIC VANCHIERI Search for The Northwestern Flipside iPhone app Class of 2016 Flipside Writers Make Most Diverse and Tal-ented Jokes Ever about Class of 2017 Being Even More Diverse and Talented Than They Are THE INTERNET — TheThe Northwestern Flipside BY TYLER DASWICK Search for The Northwestern Flipside iPhone app Denmark Dominates in Polar Bear Jumping, Wins Gold Freshman Starting to Think He Might Call Home This Year KRASNAYA POLYANA, RUSSIA — Danish polar bear jumper Oscar Karstensen could polar-bearly contain his excitement after completingHaving learned of the School of Education and Social Policy’s new course on the history and ethical dilemmas associated with philanthropic donations, the Northwestern Flipside would like to submit the following petition for the fund on our own behalf: Dear students currently engaged in the course “Learning Philanthropy and Engaging in the Study and Practice of. The Flipside thinks the money can be better spent on biweekly Dillo Days for the next two decades, or a few windows in Blomquist Gymnasium, and maybe another fan or two. – After witnessing her powerful portrayal of UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in The. . Northwestern Flipside. The Brown Jug,The Philtrum Press, The Brown Noser. Flipside staff spent hours wading through disposed pizza crusts, soggy chicken burgers, and mounds of hot cookie bar, but zero chickpeas were found. This unparalleled honor bestowed by the only satirical publication on campus is unique in its appreciation of the undervalued. Read more Entertainment, No. Brandeis University. As a turducken from birth, though, I need the world to understand that we are here. Tommy: Tommy continues to be the leader he was back in his youth, and he is now the starting running back and a captain on Cal’s football team. That’s why The Flipside sent out a little poll to. EVANSTON – In a gracious attempt to do its part in the increasingly turbulent Syrian refugee crisis, Northwestern University has offered to take in up to 25 Syrian families and host them in unoccupied rooms in Bobb Hall, but upon visiting their prospective homes, the selected families promptly declined. Put those two dismal numbers together and you can see why Northwestern lost so many close games – and, at the same time, why they also got beat by 20 or more points four times. Spokesperson for the US Department of Justice, Paul Barts, commented that the use of the funds was absolutely, totally legitimate, as politicians. Satirical newspaper at Northwestern University. 133 [Denial Issue] It’s Not Alcoholism, I Swear. Read more 293, Featured, Latest News, Local. New Study Shows Over 200% of Northwestern Students Ignore the “One Book” Emails February 1, 2021 Sophie Brown Leave a comment “Such emails serve absolutely no purpose, other than reminding the majority of students how shitty they are for not reading whatever book it was that they were supposed to. April 21,. For some context, it was 78 at Emory, 84 at Rice, and 69 at Vanderbilt at the time the decision was made. Read more Headline. John Travolta Leads Northwestern Campus Tour. How can I survive the zombie apocalypse? Sincerely, James Walshington Well James, we here at The Northwestern Flipside have put many hours into the study of zombies and can say with great certainty that this so called “swine flu” is really a government ploy to cover up the reality that the. To be blunt, The Flipside is a joke. Many were outraged when “America’s Finest News Source” targeted 9-year-old Best Actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis with a tasteless expletive, forcing Onion, Inc. March 3, 2022 Northwestern Flipside’s cardinal rule when it comes to creating campus comedy is “punch up, don’t punch down. Sorority: We’re Not All White. At time of press, the Flip-side has attempted to reach out to the old man but only received a short email in re-ply, reading, “February 15, 1996,” the date of birth of the member who sent the email. ”. It was founded in January 2009 through some combination of hard work, dedication, and blood. The Daily Northwestern and North by Northwestern are models of professionalism and journalistic excellence. ”That’s why The Flipside sent out a little poll to. To be blunt, The Flipside is a joke. 373, Opinion, Year 16. Read more No. Northwestern Career Advancement: How To Get a Job. former ASG Student Life VP Matt Belassai told The. By Professor Donald Nally, Northwestern Conducting and Ensembles As some of you may know, a minor fracas occurred last week in one of my ensembles when a Masters student refused to sing an arrangement of a Walt Whitman poem, as his “independent research” had uncovered evidence that Walt Whitman was supposedly racist. Read more Articles, Featured, Latest News,. January 17, 2014 Brian Capella One comment. Hassenpfeffer Well, Randy (I’m going to call you Randy whether you like it or not), the answer is quite simple: NO. . “I also told him to ‘shoot quickly’ because the camera was low on battery, but I guess he misinterpreted that part, too. Reporting Intern Chicago Sun-Times Dec 2022 - Mar 2023 4 months. Read more Local, No. The Northwestern Flipside is a satirical publication (similar to The Onion) and official student group at Northwestern University. The California Torch [2] Cambridge University The Porter's Log. “I’m just worried that if a Democrat wins, Republicans will throw another tantrum,” she remarked, trying to frantically re-download the app, but instead downloading Grindr. 184. Tommy: Tommy continues to be the leader he was back in his youth, and he is now the starting running back and a captain on Cal’s football team. 359 , Sports , Uncategorized , Year 15The Daily Northwestern and North by Northwestern are models of professionalism and journalistic excellence. Any attempt to disobey this policy results in severe punishment. EVANSTON — Northwestern University administration announced today that construction on some long-awaited expensive building of questionable utility is to finally start next month. Northwestern Flipside Free Everywhere, $2. How can I survive the zombie apocalypse? Sincerely, James Walshington Well James, we here at The Northwestern Flipside have put many hours into the study of zombies and can say with great certainty that this so called “swine flu” is really a government ploy to cover up the reality that the. This student even went. We exist. Yet there is one publication that is an embarrassment to the Northwestern community, journalism, paper, its staff, and their mothers: The Northwestern Flipside. Zessis, the president of The Northwestern Flipside, the school's satirical publication, and his staff hashed out several other nicknames poking fun at Northwestern's reputation, including the. Northwestern Opens New Study Abroad Program in Plex. Northwestern athletics has always been committed to treating all of our student-athletes equally, and I think our equal wage policy reflects that. Delta Delta Delta Delta Chapter President Kate Denning said, “More and more girls are going Greek, and chapters are changing how they look at their future sisters. Local Freshman Josh Camas, WCAS ’19, has been held up in his room at Willard for the past three weeks. David F. Each quarterly episode takes a satirical and informative deep dive into an issue relevant to the Northwestern community. Now, life has given me a different perspective on my time at Northwestern. NEW YORK—Last week Forbes magazine published its annual list of best colleges in the United States, naming Northwestern University as the best in the Midwest. Yeah, I just wanted to echo what the other op-eds have already said. DJ Commando Dies Following Sexual Big Bird Tweets. 147. R. Xavier Rubino, M. Bowdoin College The Harpoon. EVANSTON — The umbrella organizations responsible for Greek life at Northwestern, IFC, MGC, NPHC, and PHA, announced in a joint statement this morning that they will be adding one more role to the nuclear pledge family unit. But when all else seemed lost, Northwestern released some uplifting news as to how they would make it up to the Class of 2024. The Flipside predicts a 28-21 Seattle victory in Super Bowl XLVIII, based on the fact that sea hawks (Pandion haliaetus) can fly and broncos (Equus ferus caballus) cannot. He gets girls like none other and rages harder than anyone. Read more Local, No. EVANSTON—Northwestern University officials announced in a statement Sunday night that one Prius in the school’s SafeRide fleet is actually a Transformer in disguise hiding from the evil lord Megatron. 1. The School of Education and Social Policy, or SESP, is the latest Northwestern institution to fall victim to the recent wave of attempted budget cuts. 152. ”. Tigerzord failed to steal the mighty Allspark from. “Why, back in nineteen-tickety-six if something broke, you fixed it. For the past year, Northwestern has been testing for COVID with nasal swabs. NU Men’s Basketball Might Be Good, But You Wouldn’t Know, Would You. Dear humble Flipside reader, The Stanford Flipside beat me to this, but I guess there’s a precedent now. Local, No. March 10, 2022 Olatunji Osho-Williams Leave a comment. EVANSTON — The Golden Tee arcade game located in the ground floor of Norris has fallen into disrepair, sending shock waves through Northwestern and leaving 8,000 students unsure of how to spend their time. Evanston officials cited the celebration’s notorious reputation for “buffoonery, hooliganism, and excessive levels of smiling,” and added that. It’s that time of year once again. The activity, billed as an opportunity for a dozen Northwestern undergraduate student raffle-winners to “watch a movie with [Northwestern University President] Michael Schill in his private home theatre,” drew ire from students and faculty alike after the contest winners were allegedly forced to watch the entirety of Emily in Paris. To save the day, he turned to one of his playlists titled “Tighty Whities,” a term he created to describe songs that white people, who still use the word “tight,” think are “tight. Northwestern has recently announced its new plan to improve COVID testing: rectal testing. People like the things we make up. How to Fill Out Form Northwestern Flipside: 01. For the first time in its storied existence, The Onion has issued an apology for its content. Fraternity Pledge Not Drowning In Pussy Yet, Surprised. Northwestern’s newest club, Bring Back Pangea! has taken campus by storm. Now, we talk for hours on the phone about our favorite players on the team and he. We publish new content daily on our website. However, it was recently discovered that head coach Pat Fitzgerald has offered head coach of Penn State University Joe Paterno an irresistible bribe to secure a win this coming Saturday for the. By the way, ASG actually stands for “A Status Groupsgetallthefunding,” but that’s a story. Cold Weather Making Life “Really Hard” for Kids in Thousand-Dollar Jackets. Rename CAESAR “SA-CAGAWEA” – Trust us, there are already more than enough things at Northwestern named after dead white guys with question - able. Brigham Young University: “The Alternate Universe”. A Northwestern student has been admitted to Evanston hospital after drinking a mixture of blue Powerade and Sprite in Sargent dining hall. According to Northwestern’s football coach, this torture was deliberate. January 27, 2016 Calvin Anderson Leave a commentGilberts is just like any other Northwestern student–a young man with a dream; a dream of maybe getting a right swipe from Becca in Econ 201. EVANSTON—Due to a dearth of athletic achievement at Northwestern, the University has decided to hang a banner in honor of retiring Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. Spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, get a tattoo of your friend’s choosing, or perform at an open mic. March 3, 2022. Read more Local, No. I don’t see what the hold-up is here,” said Biden. I have heard nothing but complaints from my friends about not being able to do their homework, or get out of bed, or take a shower, or look at themselves in the mirror for more than three seconds. April 5, 2016 Jordan Villanueva Leave a comment. Our democracy is rigged. As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community. January 25, 2022 Henry Roach Leave a comment “In Chapter 12, after deciding to hoard even more BINAX-Now’s by blocking incoming shipments of at-home tests, Fuke Ligora cackles with glee about his evil plan in the office of his supervisor. C. ” he project, tentatively titled “Blow Me,” will be a jukebox musical that covers the true story of Ted Kaczynski sending two homemade bombs to Northwestern University in 1978 and 1979. After Compass Group’s ‘Comedicare’ clause went into effect, employees were given printed-out articles from NU Flipside, Northwestern’s premiere satirical journalism club, and a marginal copay was deducted from their wages. By Darby Saxbe. 154. Nolan laid out his detailed plan to The Flipside. By playing tug-of-war with the two aging Boston Terriers, Mayled successfully. Free Everywhere, $2. Leaders and elders of the Tahltan Nation came to Victoria for a signing ceremony on Thursday, and left with deals that guarantee a 60-year flow of revenue as…Northwestern’s newest club, Bring Back Pangea! has taken campus by storm. We publish new content daily on our website and Facebook in addition to running print issues several times per quarter. ”A week after Northwestern’s Interfraternity Council lifted its 9-week-old social ban on Greek-sponsored parties, University of Chicago administrators announced today that they too would be ending their university’s social ban, which has been in place for the entirety of the school’s 127-year existence. Just like the NFL draft, we’re not picking any RBs and we’re definitely not picking Kain Colter. Alleviate your case of September Doldrums with a daily dose of the Northwestern Flipside. November 5, 2015 Varun Mehta Leave a. 132, Sports, World. The Flipside would like to apologize for exposing the world to so many evils: ignorance, people who spread lies on the Internet, and even The Flipside. When asked what he meant by this, Mr. The Northwestern Flipside BY RACHEL BEAL Download the Northwestern Flipside iPhone app Local Girl Wears Balaclava, Looks Surprisingly Spectacular 2014 Winter Olympic Preview: IOC Debuts New “Extreme” Sports in Sochi SOCHI, RUSSIA — Every four years, the world watches with bated breath as the worlds’ best athletes perform awe-in-Here are some of the recent comments that were blocked by the Flipside’s Uber Cyber Killer Spamfilter (no acronyms please). Volume 10 (2017-2018). Read more Featured, Local, No. Some people, like that recent Flipside contributor, lean on their narrow conception of science like it’s a crutch. As the football season draws, or crawls, to a close, The Flipside would like to take a moment to reflect on. April 15, 2014 Jordan Villanueva Leave a comment. March 3, 2022 Northwestern Flipside’s cardinal rule when it comes to creating campus comedy is “punch up, don’t punch down. Founded in 2012, no longer active. The USDA updated its map of plant hardiness zones for the first time in over a. 174. While a stairway poop incident in the Bobb-McCullough dormitory was the overwhelming. Though the free condoms and candy of Northwestern’s Sex Week have come and gone, its effects on the student body have only just begun to be felt – and explored. May 19, 2013 Flippy One comment. This past Monday, the defensive line boldly disregarded the rules,A tapestry depicting the crushing of a philosophy major’s dreams under the boot of market forces has already been put up in the faculty lounge on the third floor. A 2019 study conducted by ASG indicates that while a whopping 83% of Northwestern undergraduates interested in studying. ”. You’ll then head to the historic Whitehorse,. The money, food and clothes will be flying and driving from all around the country, some even traveling overseas to reach campus. Click on the links below to view past issues. EVANSTON — A Psychology Department study shocked Northwestern student groups this week with the controversial claim that taping advertisements to the ground is not an effective way to market a club, cause, or event. However, President Morty Schapiro was shocked to find out that SESP does not have a budget in the first place. It was. November 17, 2012 Rachel Beal Leave a comment. The library Dave and Busters Wash. Nolan laid out his detailed plan to The Flipside. Yeah, I just wanted to echo what the other op-eds have already said. 192The Flipside thinks the money can be better spent on biweekly Dillo Days for the next two decades, or a few windows in Blomquist Gymnasium, and maybe another fan or two. Dear fellow Northwestern students, As Memorial Day rapidly approaches, the members of the Anglo-Saxon Student Alliance would like to take a moment remind all members of the Wildcat community to please celebrate this time-honored and all-American holiday respectfully. We’re fully aware that your priority number is shit. With Oscar season in full swing, The Flipside is proud to present a summary of 2012’s most acclaimed films. EVANSTON – On April 22, members of Northwestern’s Happiness Club dissolved their organization due to the 34 degree weather. ” Read more Featured , Local , No. EVANSTON – Northwestern English professor Shelby Anderson debuted a joint policy between the NU English Department and the Evanston Police Department last Thursday. December 4, 2018 Antonio Campagna Leave a comment “Making Northwestern a safe place for incredibly rich shitheads is more or less part of our mission statement,” Schapiro said. 352, Uncategorized. The statement claimed that the editors of the paper had experienced a “severe lapse in judgment” and that they were “listening and learning” from their “oopsie-daisy uh-oh spaghettio ” (emoji included in the. The research, fondly dubbed the “Sweet Saccharin Study” undoes decades of anti-dextrose discourse. “Blow Me,” will be a jukebox musical that covers the true story of Ted Kaczynski sending two homemade bombs to Northwestern University in 1978 and 1979. Informally dubbed the “Hipster Frat,” the organization is currently unnamed. Both Greek and non-Greek students have disclosed to Flipside feeling squeamish about the rebranding effort, calling it “confusing, both sexually and otherwise. Stevens told the Flipside while sitting naked in a lounge. “The annual game between Northwestern University and the University of Illinois is one of the greatest traditions in the whole state,” said Emma Martinez, Emeritus Professor of Illinois Studies at the University of Notre Dame. To be blunt, The Flipside is a joke. Research from the Flipside Institute of Statisticology suggests that only one in fifty students will remember someone next year that they met on admitted student day. 50. Read more Featured, Local, No. The Northwestern Flipside is a satirical publication founded in 2008. Free Everywhere, $2. The Northwestern Alumni Association declined to comment on the affair, but Hinman CSO Mike Hanson says this isn’t unusual for Homecoming weekend. When The Flipside asked Thompson about this anomaly, he commented, “I guess my teachers were just always really healthy. Northwestern Ranked #5 for College Dining in Evanston. I had some other struggles when I reached Chicago, such as bumping into people when I followed the lyrics of “slide to the left. The Gutter is a new Instagram account that brings satire to all things. “This is GREAT news!” said Weinberg sophomoreDear Northwestern Flipside, All of my friends are already home from school. Read more Entertainment, Featured, Local, No. ”. Stoned Jaywalker Leads NU Students into Oncoming Traffic. ”“All we know is we have a sombrero-wearing pineapple-duck who looks like he stuck a fork in a light socket. The Flipside Nominates the 2014 Homecoming Court. Read more Featured, Local, No. The Flipside Movie Review: Frozen and The Wolf of Wall Street. Flipside Leaks Flipside Pledge Classes. We’ve rated Northwestern’s top 100 prospects, from the good to the bad to the nonexistent. Sometimes, I felt my elbows revert to jogging elbows. 177. 331, Sci/Tech, Year 14 “They Cut Me Out, And Now It’s Time To Pay,” Cackles A Third Johnson In New Blackmail Video. The LGBTQ+ community has been quick to embrace this advancement of relations between machine and man, hailing it as “the Third Industrial Revolution”. As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community. Spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, get a tattoo of your friend’s choosing, or perform at an open mic. We at Flipside felt our readers deserved at least a taste of what might have been had administrators watched past “The One the Morning After. Brandeis University. 30 Canada. The Truth about Northwestern Skunks. 196The Flipside Nominates the 2013 Homecoming Court. Will I ever get to go home? Your number one fan, Randolph K. February 25, 2014 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment. When coming up with a motto, John Evans quickly won over the other founders with an all-powerful statement. No. Yes, every former student knows the joy of seeing a substitute teacher walk in, or so we thought. Northwestern Flipside. EVANSTON — Northwestern University administrators declared yesterday that the campus will host a record number of fairs this year. In other words, this is the most serious threat to our Northwestern community since classes were held during the polar vortex. We publish new content daily on our website and Facebook in addition to running print issues several times per quarter. Here are some of the recent comments that were blocked by the Flipside’s Uber Cyber Killer Spamfilter (no acronyms please). Bucknell University The Mucknellian. 106 Free Everywhere, $2. Collier, known for his intricate harmonic arrangements and the ability to bore nearly anyone’s date, will be traveling all the way from the color printer in Norris to Welsh-Ryan Arena to perform at Blowout this year. October 9, 2023 Flippy Leave a comment. 264. Read more Featured , Local , No. In a completely understandable move in the midst of the largest recession of the past seventy years, the US Federal Government gave $300,000 to Northwestern’s Campus Coalition on Sexual Violence. EVANSTON – A local Evanston middle school has issued its response to Northwestern’s Dance Marathon. The Flipside has recovered this post from Northwestern’s “Free & For Sale” Facebook group after the Admissions Office hacked the user’s profile. 373, Opinion, Year 16. At the last Greek Life Summit, the Panhellenic board decreed that the sororities had to diversify their new pledge class, encouraging them to select members that are drastically different from the existing sisters. Northwestern Sophomore Ryan Mayled reportedly spent more time talking to his hosts’ pet dogs than to any of his distant relatives. “I Pivoted”: The Moment Offset’s Dillo DJ Realized Northwestern Was A PWI. April 13, 2013 Sam Block Leave a comment. “I mean, I guess I understand how farming might be important in light of the food crisis in, like, Africa and whatever,” Weinberg senior Jonah Goldblum told Flipside, “but. The other night I found that he had painted my wall with dark red symbols. 253, Issue 26The Daily Northwestern and North by Northwestern are models of professionalism and journalistic excellence. By the way, ASG actually stands for “A Status Groupsgetallthefunding,” but that’s a story for another farewell. These lucrative tips have made our illustrious paper the 10th wealthiest bi-weekly satirical publication on campus, and once you’ve read this article, you’ll have no excuse not to. According to Northwestern’s football coach, this torture was deliberate. With Oscar season in full swing, The Flipside is proud to present a summary of 2012’s most acclaimed films. ” October 16, 2022 Xanthe Brown One comment. Dear NU Flipside, Swine flu is definitely a zombie virus. He told Flipside reporters (accidentally, via secret microphone hidden inside his phone’s PopSocket) about the reasoning behind his decision: “I think they’ll take my emails more seriously if they see I. Flipside Investigative Report: Where Do All the Uneaten Dining Hall. How can I survive the zombie apocalypse? Sincerely, James Walshington Well James, we here at The Northwestern Flipside have put many hours into the study of zombies and can say with great certainty that this so called “swine flu” is really a government ploy to cover up the reality that the dead are being reanimated as zombies. 377 , Year 16 So Your Marriage Pact Match Is in McCormick. The Northwesten Flipside regrets this omission. How can I survive the zombie apocalypse? Sincerely, James Walshington Well James, we here at The Northwestern Flipside have put many hours into the study of zombies and can say with great certainty that this so called “swine flu” is really a government ploy to cover up the reality that the. In his last year as the President of the Northwestern University, Morton Schapiro has announced that he will exit with a literal bang. The banner will feature the number of cases he participated in below his. Volume 10 (2017-2018). January 25, 2022 Henry Roach Leave a comment “In Chapter 12, after deciding to hoard even more BINAX-Now’s by blocking incoming shipments of at-home tests, Fuke Ligora cackles with glee about his evil plan in the office of his supervisor. Gordon Leave a comment. June 2, 2023 Caitlin Carr-Smith Leave a comment. Read more Featured, Local, No. S. The LGBTQ+ community has been quick to embrace this advancement of relations between machine and man, hailing it as “the Third Industrial Revolution”. From the Archives: Op-Ed: William, ye Olde Wilde Cat, Thou Hast Awakened my Heart. EVANSTON – In a move to appeal to an increasingly Internet-centric youth, Northwestern University will be offering a major in Meme Studies, Assistant Dean for Curriculum Joan Linsenmeier announced yesterday. Sometimes, I felt my elbows revert to jogging elbows. Read more Articles, Business, Featured, Local, Year 14. Fuck off. EVANSTON — After considering the exorbitant amount of time each Northwestern student spends on CAESAR attempting to register for classes every quarter, administrators at Northwestern thought the online portal would be the perfect place to continue their push for campus diversity. 148. In an official statement, Morty expressed his disappointment in light of this. Read more Entertainment, Featured, Latest News, Local, No. Soulja Boy puts Flipside-Sherman Ave feud to rest: “Fuck these fools! I was the first rapper to make a biting satirical news publication that. 234 , Politics College Republicans Change Affiliation to College IndependentsSince Morty arrived in 2009, Northwestern has made the tournament in each of his two years at the school but has yet to advance past the first round. Report: Northwestern’s Qatar Campus Just Basement of Hinman. March 3, 2022. Unfortunately, the articles were so life-threateningly unfunny, they are thought to have been able to transmit. Hundreds of t-shirts exhibiting zero graphic design skill will. A week after Northwestern’s Interfraternity Council lifted its 9-week-old social ban on Greek-sponsored parties, University of Chicago administrators announced today that they too would be ending their university’s social ban, which has been in place for the entirety of the school’s 127-year existence. EVANSTON — In our never-ending quest to promote justice through government transparency, The Flipside launched a special campaign this week to find out what Northwestern students thought were the biggest issues the global community faces today. This installment contains information about buildings in the southwest portion of campus, in and near the Sorority Quad. 359 , Sports , Uncategorized , Year 15 The Daily Northwestern and North by Northwestern are models of professionalism and journalistic excellence. ” Read more Featured , Local , No. The Flipside’s Best Ways to Accomodate Puerto Rican Star on the U. com released its weekly college rankings Monday, and Northwestern University was for the first time in the Top 10. We here at the Flipside are also happy to report that Hannah Griffin now has 3 kids, all of which are inexplicably named Zayden. Flipside Endorses Jim Gilmore for ASG President. In 1851, Evans united with prominent Chicagoans to found Northwestern University, so named because it served the Northwest Territory. 1) Review, query, and edit text thoroughly for correct grammar, syntax, usage, style, and formatting. 30 Canada Like The Onion ? The Daily Show? The Colbert Report? The Northwestern Flipside is a satirical publication and official student group at Northwestern University. “Hey, it’s still a Northwestern dorm, isn’t it? We said you have to live on campus for two years, but we never specified which campus. I was just elected to appease the masses, to unwittingly pull the blindfold down over their eyes. Making Hitler the son of the god of light is certainly an interesting. Northwestern University's Official Satirical Newspaper Making fun of anything from campus mishaps to nationwide headlines, Flipside publishes on its website and on social media. The Northwestern Flipside Search for The Northwestern Flipside iPhone app As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community. February 20, 2018 Ari Mostow Leave a comment. Northwestern will become the first major university to offer a degree in the up-and-coming science of Internet memes. October 18, 2017 Ari Mostow Leave a comment “I just wanted to make Northwestern look like it has more global outreach. This Is Not the Way to Help Depressed Teenagers. Despite applying for the money guaranteed to them as a T-status group in May of 2009, the now pending B-status group has largely been ignored. Her many extra-curricular activities include writing for Northwestern Flipside and competing in half-marathons. To Fully Experience Life of Northwestern Student, Parents to Get Rejected by Improv Troupe. However, President Morty Schapiro was shocked to find out that SESP does not have a budget in the first place. ”EVANSTON – The online quiz site Sporcle. The Northwestern Flipside is a Northwestern University satire publication comprised primarily of undergraduate students. Read more Local , No. Author Archives: Izzy Killian. I Have a Bone to Pick With You, Northwestern. If you can learn to use your attitude to your advantage, you will be setup for success. March 4, 2022. The Flipside has obtained a leaked script for an episode from the first season which surely serves as an. Northwestern Ranked #5 for College Dining in Evanston. However, weeks in the red zone have called for a new method with more accuracy. February 1, 2012 Sam Block Leave a comment. After gaining his 90,000th follower, funniest_memes_central tweeted out, “Thanks everybody! 10,000 more follows and I’ll do a face reveal!” November 23, 2011 Richie Hoffman 23 comments. The Flipside caught up with them to find out. Since Lincoln was such a blockbuster, we have tripled our efforts and present for you three reviews: one from a Northerner, one from a Southerner, and one from someone who misheard the name of the movie as LinkedIn. November 12, 2015 Louis Danowsky Leave a comment. NNN is the only broadcast news network on campus and has received numerous accolades, including multiple Chicago Midwest Emmy awards. Rick Riordan has decided to write that Adolf Hitler was the son of the Greek god Apollo. 184. Read more Local, No. 177. Look, The Flipside makes things up. February 28, 2023 Zoe Kulick Leave a comment. He told Flipside reporters (accidentally, via secret microphone hidden inside his phone’s PopSocket) about the reasoning behind his decision: “I think they’ll take my emails more seriously if they see I’m one of them… Maybe we should start thinking about sending them Kik messages too, apparently no one uses AOL anymore lolz!!” On the flip side, they turned the ball over a whopping 31 times, the second-most in the nation, behind only Rice. Song recorded by Jerred Roggensack Songs parodied include:"All of the Lights" by Kanye West"F*ck You" by Cee-Lo Green"Fr. EVANSTON — In our never-ending quest to promote justice through government transparency, The Flipside launched a special campaign this week to find out what Northwestern students thought were the biggest issues the global community faces today. The upcoming match in Syria will continue the rivalry between the Army and nearly every team in the MEC (Middle Eastern Conference). Read more Featured, Local, No. 184. Children cried, priests prayed, and citizens everywhere trembled in the face of potential ruin…. Bowdoin College The Harpoon. Read more Featured , Local , No. The scenic drive along the Cassiar Highway will bring you to the Alaska Highway near Watson Lake, just north of the Yukon border. As the football season draws, or crawls, to a close, The Flipside would like to take a moment to reflect on. Northwestern University's Official Satirical Newspaper wasn’t easy. Call me a martyr.